An Open Letter to Lindsay

dear lindsay,

i am so sorry.

i am so sorry i opened the champagne friday night to celebrate the beginning of a budding romance.

i am so sorry about the fight we had saturday morning, which made you drive away so fast, squealing your tires and leaving me behind in the dust.

i am so sorry i gave you my usable amount of blow. i should have known better. (let's face it, you are not the greatest behind the wheel. we ALL know that. btw, you should really think about getting a driver.)

and mostly, i am so sorry that you are not allowed conjugal visits in your new rehab facility.

i don't know where we stand anymore, snookie-wookums. remember when you stroked my hair and said that you love me more than vodka? well, i just wish you would prove it sometimes.

i really thought we were on to something, but mayeb it was just your stupid addiction talking.

i'm so tired, and i'm like totally cried out right now. i need some sleep. where's that bottle of Ketel One you left at my place? effing hell. i'm just going to have a little sip and try to sleep.

i wonder how your rehab is going to change things between us. will you still text me? will you still call? do i still mean anything at all?

i can't think about this anymore.

i love you, lindsay. love you 4-eva!

XOXO