Thou Shalt Carry Books

you want to hear something funny?

the other night paris called me and was like, "so, like, you know, now that i'm going to jail, i'm trying to change my image and all ... do u have any advice about what i should do?"

and of course, i thought, "eat a sandwich and wear a bra and stop being a whore."

but i didn't tell her that. noooooo.

i was all high, so i thought it would be funnee to play a joke on her. and so i said, "ooh! you should find god. it worked for johnny cash."

(because i think that was part of "walk the line." wasn't it? only i'm not sure because i was totally rocked during that movie and was watching it with a cheap vegas hooker.)

and i told paris that it would be extra cool if she would carry around some spiritual-type book and, like, a copy of the holy bible or something.

and you know what? she actually did it!

oh, ho ho ho hee hee hee.

that shit be so funny.

now she's in the national enquirer and star and us and all of those mags, and they're talking about how she's all religious now because of these books.

yeah, like she can read.

omg. next time i'm going to tell her to build an ark. it'll be effing hysterical.